May 2, 2003

man am i tired....i just put my head on my hands for a second and i think i took a little nap....that's not a big deal, besides the fact im at work.
i didnt get to sleep till like 3 last night.....i couldnt stop thinking of how i seem to be dooming this before it ever really starts. WHY!!...fuck i suck! i know i could fall for her....its so soon....ive let her get closer to me quicker than anyone ever.

for you my dear.

my mind tortures me
so i dont get close
my mind blocks out
what i care for most

i think about the words
the wonderful things you say
i think about your eyes
and the feelings they convey

my heart beats louder
with every second spent
but my mind turns bad
the good things that are meant

i wrap my arms
and legs around you
holding you close
i search for whats true

can i make it work
or am i just a fool
am i a novelty or
do you desire my soul

ive got so much to give
and i love to share
ill show you my heart
and how much i care

im not a bad person
maybe a bit naive
insecure alot cause
i fear you will leave

i need to view you
as the way you really are
as a white peaceful dove
not an eagle wanting war

you have captured my heart
like the other teams flag
if i could actually keep you
would you mind if i brag

life is so hard and
love makes it worse
but without it life
is a song with no verse

so please take my hand
and lead me where to be
cause when i dream at night
a future with you i see

i dont claim to be perfect
amazing or great
but im afraid ill show you
the best me a little to late

so please take me close
and whisper to my ear
and make me believe
youll take away my fear have found a part of me that ive hidden away. i never thought id have someone like you in my world. i promise to be the best i can to you. i want to make you smile, happy, and proud.

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