May 2, 2003

what can i say....tonite started out amazing. Casandra is an amazing woman and i have seemed to once again build some kind of wall to block her out. no matter how much i care about someone i find someway to make it harder to care. i need to stop, and i need to stop now. she deserves so much better than i seem to be giving her. why do i do this? i cant do this to her. she is very special to me, she is a good motivator for me. she is someone that can keep me focused on the things i need to do. im sorry Casandra my dear for not realizing your as real as you can be to me. i promise you i will look at things they should be. i will open my eyes to how true you are and that you are not a repeat of everything that has come to me before. i need to start at zero like i said...start fresh.

cause in my mind and my heart i hope that we can work things out and be together, cause something tells me that we could be great.

i hope you sign on soon so we can talk, cause i need to talk.

im sorry my dear.

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