May 26, 2003

writen at the bar tonite as i drank my molson(it doesnt have to make sence by the way)

well here i am again. Lost and confused. Why is it always the same thing? This so totally sucks. For once i want things to be different. Why must i always end up feeling hurt and rejected? Do i set myself up? Or am i just that easy to toss aside? No one ever seems to wanna take a chance with me. Am i that bad? That hard to want? To really care for? If so, why? And if not, then whats the problem? I have so much to give.......i just need the chance. Will i ever get it? Doubt it!
I hate this. Fuck this! What do i do wrong all the time? Why not pick me? I was good enuff before today. Now everything is fucked up. I hate how things are. Now once again i feel like i have nothing, when i was ready to give you everything.

who do you think you are to hurt me like this.
make me ashamed of who i am
the way i am, and the things i do
i tried to be everything you wish
tried to give you what you wanted.
but it wasnt enough for you.
What else could i ever do?
it was doomed from the start.
I should just give up!
Never once have i done it right
never once have i won the fight
all my faults are in plain sight
i just wanna be by you tonite.

Our song plays on the jukebox
as i sit and think about you
thinking "honestly" how i feel about you
wonder what i couldve done differently
to get you to chose me instead
but that wouldnt be fair to you
cause i dont want to be the one for wrong reasons
i dont want you to want me cause i convinced you to
i want you to cause you love me too

am I as worthless as i feel?

I hate where i am.

are you i think you are? Do you try to make me feel?.

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