Jun 11, 2003

im really sorry for how things are going right now. i never meant for this to happen, i didnt know it would. life is full of so many surprises and mysteries, its pointless and impossible to even think about understanding them all. i never meant to let you get hurt. when this started you seemed cold and so full of animosity towards it, we let ourselves get close. the night we talked you seemed like you could care less, like you wanted her to leave, and to be honest, she wouldn't have left if she didn't want to. the thing is, we arent getting a fair chance cause we both feel bad about everything. im afraid to call or do anything special that lets her know i care. i mean im tired of not being me cause im afraid to upset you. its not fair to us that you suddenly see the light. you gave up, now your trying to come back. i know its hard to see something you care about go away. i wouldnt be here if i wasnt wanted, im not trying to confuse things, im just trying to make someone happy. im sorry your not happy too. you should have realized this sooner, when you had her. when you had the chance. i know its hard. ive been there too. everything happens for a reason, forcing it doesn't help. believe me THAT i also know.

i know that she is special to you, she is special to me too. i totally appreciate every little detail about her and i will never let her down. i will always be everything she needs, and i hope that makes you feel a little better knowing that someone will treat her good. i really think we both need eachother to help us thru certain points in our life. she brings a part of me alive i never knew existed. you may hate to hear it but we love eachother with an intesity that neither of us can explain, im on a whole new "level" of life since ive met her. i understand why its so hard for you to let go, but you did let go, and then we met. it wasnt a planned thing. you cant help how you feel, but you can help how you react.

please give us the chance to be happy together.

i am really sorry for this happening to you. i cant say it wouldnt have happened if i knew how things would be now, but i wish it wasnt like this. i wish it was easy for everyone, but thats life.

take care,

"a person makes a decision based on what they want, NOT what they DON'T want"
Martha Plimpton
Beautiful Girls

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