Jun 16, 2003

im not too sure what to think anymore. what to think about myself, my life, my friends, what i do, and mostly....my mind. why does it work in the way it does and torture me so much.

ive pushed away the greatest thing i have ever had in my life, she was so sweet, and caring. not to mention beautiful, funny, and just all around perfect for me. a day hasnt gone by where i havent woken up and thought to myself....."fuck, how the hell did i let all of this happen" and then for the rest of the day her face and her smile is imprinted into my brain, all i see is her.

i dont know if she understands how deeply why heart longs for her touch, to beat next to hers. every nerve ending in my bodys hopes to feel a brush of her in the morning when i wake up, wanting that warmth that her body gives off that says, im here and ill never leave. every sence seaches for traces of her everyday. the scent she leaves on my pillows, the taste of her lips, the sound of her breathing while she sleeps, all these things alone or together make me feel alive. she does something i never imagined, she completes the life ive lead for 27 years.

i am in love with you.

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