Aug 25, 2003

as my birthday draws nearer i realize that over the past few years ive become kinda materialistic when it comes to my birthday....im looking for bigger better things to define me as a person, things that will fulfill me in place of actually fulfillment. Only once have i never really been alone on my birthday. '96 was the only time that i had an actual girlfriend (jamie)on my birthday, someone to share time with. someone that came outto dinner with me and my parents, since then kim was the only one that was around on my birthday, but we werent boyfriend/girlfriend, we were just "dating" i was afraid to have her as my girlfriend.

I have spent so many birthdays alone.

so now as this one approaches....i feel a bit of animosity towards it. i dont care anymore. just give me the presents and the money and whatever, and let me try to be happy with that. im just tired of being alone. i know who id spend it with but it just doesnt matter anymore.

i am my fucking khakis

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