arrrgh....i get sooooo tounge tied and nervous when i talk to Amanda....i just talked to her while she was on her break and i felt like a FUCKING idiot. im so afraid that if someone that doesnt totally know me yet will be put off by some stupid fit-of-nervousness thing i say and that will ruin it all. i dont get that feeling too often. ive been realizing my self esteem is lower than i thought.....i meet a super cool girl and think...."ME?!?! yeah right. her friends will hate me and shell be influenced by them and then ditch me." but we are supposed to get together either wednesday of friday. im looking forward to that.