Mar 12, 2007

So Ive been thinking a little more about the things that are going on around me....

More and more I am feeling very Incidental. Like I'm just an extra in the story of my life. I'm here working and working as things happen around me. I cant seem to stay up to date with everything. I also feel like everything I'm involved with is moving beyond me and I'm not as instrumental in any of it as i used to be. like I'm only involved only in a "who i know" way, not for what i can offer. then i have people out there that i thought could perhaps be a friend(even if just in a small way) that demean me and my abilities....to you i say, "fuck off. i don't need your negativity....you have no clue...cause your life in that sense hasn't even begun...so don't try to even start to tell me a damn thing." Any ways...yeah I'm feeling sorry for myself but honestly, I am just really scared. I have so much hope and desire for what I am doing, that I am spreading myself way to thin...I know this. I just can't stop because I see what needs done. And I want it to happen...I have grown to this point only knowing people that only do a half-assed job, don't see things how they deserve to be seen. I am surrounded by many close-minded people and for some reason for the first time in my life...I am letting them bring me down. This isn't me. And to top it off..I am losing the foundation that I have taken for granted. I'm sorry.

2 comments:

la Tea said...

hey andy, im not telling you to give up, and im not trying to tell you what to do, but some times you just need to let go. its not giving up or doing things half assed, its the fact you are losing yourself and who you used to be. if you like who you are now then just keep doing what ur doing, but it doesnt sound to be that way. and shit, just take a vacation, you dont have to quit, just stop for a week or so, get back to yourself. i for one know how your work has eaten your life, but thats simply what it is, your life. and like i said b4, thats what you chose it to be. sry. i wish we could be closer, expecially b/c of the shit i got going on right now, but, hum... i guess thats just the way it turned out. haha, maybe i should have just lied that night. ha.

Anonymous said...

In the short time I known you I have noticed a change(were is the excitement?)... but dont give up life has hard times but they just make you better! ALSO dont be afraid you speak up! If you see someone that is using what you worked to create for there own gain then stand up for it!!!! Its your hard work its your town stand up for it! And dont let anyone stop you, not even the outsiders.