So Ive been thinking a little more about the things that are going on around me....

More and more I am feeling very Incidental. Like I'm just an extra in the story of my life. I'm here working and working as things happen around me. I cant seem to stay up to date with everything. I also feel like everything I'm involved with is moving beyond me and I'm not as instrumental in any of it as i used to be. like I'm only involved only in a "who i know" way, not for what i can offer. then i have people out there that i thought could perhaps be a friend(even if just in a small way) that demean me and my abilities....to you i say, "fuck off. i don't need your negativity....you have no clue...cause your life in that sense hasn't even begun...so don't try to even start to tell me a damn thing." Any ways...yeah I'm feeling sorry for myself but honestly, I am just really scared. I have so much hope and desire for what I am doing, that I am spreading myself way to thin...I know this. I just can't stop because I see what needs done. And I want it to happen...I have grown to this point only knowing people that only do a half-assed job, don't see things how they deserve to be seen. I am surrounded by many close-minded people and for some reason for the first time in my life...I am letting them bring me down. This isn't me. And to top it off..I am losing the foundation that I have taken for granted. I'm sorry.